Yes, there's stuff out there that we should know, but which we also won't want to! Let's see how many of these you're aware of. How high is the denial? (Or could it be a conspiracy?! Hah!) The List tells all!
1) Don't make fun of people who snort when they laugh. Why? Because sometime after you cross 40 that could then be you! (Yes, nasal passages change with age, and out of nowhere, something hits your funny bone and instead of a laugh, you SNORT! And LOUDLY! So be kind.) (Oh and if you snort, it's highly likely you also SNORE! Hah!)
2) Authors make a ton of MONEY! Lies! Only about 1% of authors out there make enough cash to be considered well off. Worse, if you write full time (and don't have a significant other), you'll probably have no insurance or pay for it out the nose!
3) Pimple are Forever! Yes, did you too get told by your parents that those pesky bothersome pimple and zits would be gone after the teenage years are over? More lies! Though some people do get lucky enough to hardly ever have them once they hit 20, most peeps still get them on a regular basis. Good news is that as long as you eat healthy and wash often, you can minimize these bothersome pests. But never forget they're there...waiting, waiting to come out and pounce!
4) If there's a food/show/place you love, get ready for pain! Yes, they will be discontinued, cancelled, changed. And you will pine for them. You will pine for them forever! (Sanditos! Sinclair! Ragu Extra Thick and Zesty! I miss YOU guys!)
5) At around the 40+ mark, not only will snorting possibly become part of your future, but so will extra appendages! What am I talking about? Growths! Little flaps of skin that grow and wave at one another from different parts of your body! Not normally harmful in anyway, you will now feel you always have company. And they have no shame! They'll grow wherever they like!
Yes, horrid truths, but being forewarned is forearmed! (Even if you can't stop them! Better than just being surprised, no?) What horrid truths have you come across that people need to know but would rather not? Share. Be not afraid. We do not judge here. :)
Gloria Oliver
Unveiling the Fantastic
www.gloriaoliver.com
Hmmmm.... I've always snorted while laughing. Maybe that will go away with age?
ReplyDeleteGloria, This was an amusing post. Janet
ReplyDeleteLOL! Thanks for the laugh today, Gloria. I needed it.
ReplyDeleteAlso thanks for explaining to me why I "snort" when I laugh. Must cover my nose next time. Wait, here it comes. (Slapping hand over nose.)
Nope, Sarah. I'm way older and it doesn't go away. :)
Sarah, sorry, if you got it early, I think you're stuck with it. :P
ReplyDeleteThanks, Janet.
Yay! Got a laugh! Glad I could help, Bev. :)
Too funny! I always suffered from acne. Now I have rosecea. Such a pain. But I remember my mother telling me once I was a young adult it would clear up. Wrong.
ReplyDeleteOn the canceled shows thing, thank goodness for Netflix! I also ended up buying a couple seasons of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER.
And snorting? I've always done that.
Freaks and Geeks- the greatest TV show EVER cancelled after one season!! SUCKO!
ReplyDeleteKim: Ack rosecea! My mom has it as well. I'm hoping it will miss me but time will tell. All we can do is grin and bear these things. lol. (I did know a woman who's laugh was a horse's neigh. Snorting doesn't sound so bad after that. :P)
ReplyDeleteCome on Mike, scream it out! Lots! (Sinclair! Is now a joke with my husband because when they switched him in Babylon 5 I screamed it every time the show came on for a year! lol Really missed him. Though Bruce was good too.) :) Freaks and Geeks is giggling at my recall. Will have to go refresh the brain. Hubby does it for Mann and Machine. :P