The Spider Dance

Come on. We've all done it. That strange little dance when you run into a spider web and think the crawly might, just might, still be on your body somewhere.

I witnessed my first spider dance yesterday. A young girl, walking along, suddenly begins to jerk and gyrate and scrutinize her body, looking for that crawly. She lifted one arm, then bent her leg, twisted her body, rubbed at her pants and shirt, then shuddered, glanced up, grinned to see others watching her, and walked on. Hopefully, the crawly was hastening it back to a shrub, where it could collect itself and begin a new web.

I don't like spiders. At all. I can tolerate them now, at my advanced age, if they are outside, in the woods, away from me. I've even taken to "relocating" them, alive, if I find them on the side of my house, near a doorway or window. I mean, really, I have over an acre of woods here. I think they can find someplace far better to build their sticky little condo than on the side of my house.

What I can't tolerate is having spiders inside my house. If I can see them. I once read that we are never more than 5 feet from a spider. That gives me the creeps. If they stay out of sight, I'm fine with it. But if I see them, inside my house, all bets are off. Not that I can stand getting close enough to actually kill them outright. I use something very long and rush them outside as quickly as possible. But occasionally, they take that big ride on the toilet waterslide. I'm sure the thrill of swirling around and around with a gallon of water doesn't have the outcome they might think.

I get worried, though, when I kill a small spider. I mean, what if it's a baby? What if its mother is like, a hundred times bigger? What if that HUGE mother spider is out for revenge? What then? So, if it's a tiny spider, I let it alone. I don't need that sort of anxiety. (See why I'm a writer? A very vivid imagination)

I am always amazed when I watch shows on the telly, or a movie, and they are dashing helter skelter through the woods. Remember the scenes from Star Wars? On those little flying scooters when Skywalker is zipping through the woods? Or on LOTR when Arwen was racing her horse through the misty forests? Even while they are running for their lives, I'm thinking, "why aren't they running into spider webs out there?" I guess it would take some of the suspense and excitement out of it were Luke or Arwen to suddenly stop and start doing the Spider Dance. But it would sure add a lot of realism to me!